


Ripples 8

by Grey (grey853)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 01:47:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/792606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey853/pseuds/Grey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair and Drew come to an agreement about their relationship.<br/>This story is a sequel to Ripples 7.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ripples 8

## Ripples 8

by Grey

Author's webpage: <http://grey.ravenshadow.net/>

* * *

Disclaimer: Not mine, yet. 

Summary: Blair and Drew come to an agreement about their relationship. 

Notes: Thanks to Jenn aka XFreak for the edits. 

Warning: If you don't like the idea of Jim and Blair being sexually and emotionally involved with others, don't read this series. This is slightly AU and has a prominent original character. 

* * *

Ripples 8  
by Grey 

Blair sat at his office desk, both hands holding his head, his eyes closed. He worked to contain the horror, the surprising replay of pain and the anguish of being beaten and restrained by Simmons. Over two weeks later and he still couldn't get it out of his head, couldn't control the ripples of panic that crippled him at the oddest moments like taking a shower, reading a book, or just organizing his schedule on his return to teaching. Intellectually he understood the effect of trauma. Emotionally he just knew it sucked big time. 

It didn't help that Dean Tucker called him on the carpet about his absences. Son of a bitch didn't like him much anyway. An excuse to cancel his fellowship would suit the sorry bastard just fine. 

He heard a knock and then a familiar voice. "Blair?" 

Glancing up, Blair squinted and put on his glasses. "Drew, what are you doing here?" 

"Are you okay? You look pale." 

"I'm fine." 

"Are you sure you should be back to work so soon?" 

"Dean Tucker thinks I've been gone too much as it is." 

"What?" 

Blair sat back and took a deep breath. "You know, 'Do your teaching duty no matter what' Dean Tucker, stickler for attendance, the guy who wants my ass in a sling?" 

"Oh, yeah, _that_ Dean Tucker." Drew closed the door and stepped closer to sit in the chair next to the desk, his expression sympathetic. "Don't let Darren get you down. You were in the hospital for godsakes." 

"Yeah, but I just got back from an unexpected 12 day trip to Peru not too long ago. Believe me, he's keeping track." 

"Peru?" 

"A long story." 

"Too long to tell over lunch?" 

"Lunch?" 

"Yeah, I thought I could take you to the Gardens. They have great food." 

"Oh, man, I'd like to, but I promised Jim I'd meet him at the station this afternoon. We've got to go over the Simmons reports. Plus, he just started a new case and wants to question a suspect." 

"And he can't do that without you?" 

The cold tone caught Blair's attention as he met the serious brown eyes. "I thought you understood about this." 

"You thought I understood about what? You playing cop or playing with Jim?" 

Tilting his head, quick anger sparking his tongue, the younger man barely controlled his urge to bite back. "I'm not playing cop, and I'm sure as hell not playing when it comes to Jim. What's your problem? Aren't you the same man who said something about just being part of my life no matter what, about not being jealous? What's with the attitude?" 

Drew stood up, the stern expression softened. "I'm sorry. You're right. I've got no business making comments like that because I'm disappointed. I just thought it'd be nice to spend some time together." 

"I'd like that, too, but today's not a good time." 

"What about tonight? We could go out to dinner and go to Kevin's new art show at the Auditorium." 

"Jim and I might have a stake out." 

"Stake out?" 

"I won't know until I see him." Blair stood up and stepped closer, his body tight. "Can I call you later and let you know?" 

Drew frowned, suddenly sad as he touched Blair's face lightly with the back of his hand. "Are you sure you want to bother?" 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Just think about it. You've got my number. If I don't hear from you by eight, I'll go see Kevin's exhibition on my own." 

As Drew turned, Blair grabbed his wrist. "Wait. I'm sorry." 

"It's all right. Go do what you need to do. Call when you can." 

"I didn't mean to upset you." 

"If I'm upset, it's my problem, not yours, but I do think we need to talk later when you've got some time." 

"Talk about what?" 

"About what we both want and what we're willing to do or not do to have it." 

Stepping away, frustrated at the grim tone, Blair ran his hand through his curls. "Jesus, Drew, I just turned down lunch. You make it sound like we're finished." 

"Is that what you hear me saying?" 

"Isn't that what you said?" 

"No, but if that's what you heard, then maybe that's what you're thinking." 

"I wasn't thinking anything like that. Shit." Blair settled back in his chair. "My head hurts." 

"Maybe you should go home and rest." 

"I'll be fine. Just don't go away pissed." 

"I'm not angry. I'll talk to you later." 

Before he could say anything else, Drew stepped out the door and closed it. 

Blair slammed down his fist in frustration, thinking having a love life sucked almost as much as not having one. Both made him feel like shit. 

* * *

"What's wrong with the kid?" Simon peeked through the closed shades as Blair sat at Jim's desk reading a file. 

"I guess he's just tired. We've been going at it pretty hard." Jim settled himself at the table and closed the folder. 

"Reading through the Simmons file can't be easy, but it seems like more than that." Simon turned and walked to his desk, pouring himself coffee and refilling Jim's cup. "Has he said anything about Marshall?" 

"No. Actually, he's being evasive." 

"You asked?" 

"Just so I'd know if he was going out tonight or not." 

"And is he?" 

"Said it depended." 

"On?" 

"Didn't say. Like I said, he's being evasive. I'm thinking there's trouble in paradise." Jim patted the folders against his palm to even the edges, not sure whether to be glad or upset about his partner's unsettled condition. 

"Do you think that's really true or is that what you want to happen?" 

Startled, Jim met Simon's dark eyes, his face serious. "What are you saying? You think I want him unhappy?" 

"No, I'm saying you want him unattached." 

"Shit, Simon, don't start that again." Standing, Jim took a deep breath and headed to the door. "I'm going to pick up McGuire." 

"Jim, wait." 

"I have a case to work." 

"I know that, but I also know you're pissed. I'm sorry. I just don't know what's going on with you sometimes." 

Hesitating, Jim turned back, his nerves still tense. "A better question is what's going on with you? I've told you before, Blair's my partner, not my love interest. So why all the jabs?" 

Sighing and shaking his head, Simon sat down and avoided Jim's eyes. "I guess because deep down I think it's more than that. I know you get pissed when I mention it, and I know I should keep this out of the office, but damn it, Jim, sometimes I just see it." 

"See it?" 

"When you look at him, I see it." 

"See what?" 

"That look I want all for myself. That look I see Blair giving you when he knows you're not paying attention." 

"I swear you've gone crazy." Jim took a deep breath, the frustration welling up as he stepped back towards the desk. "This thing with Blair is complicated, I'll admit that, but it's not a competition with you. So, do me a favor, just let it go." 

"I want to." 

"Then do it. It's wearing thin." He paused and took a long calming breath. "Now, I'm going to go pick up this suspect. Can we talk about something better later?" 

"Your place or mine?" 

"Depends on Sandburg." 

"Big surprise." 

Clenching his jaw, Jim snapped, "Keep it up and you won't have to bother with later. Leave it alone, especially here." 

Simon nodded, his face solemn as he put down his mug. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." He rubbed the back of his head and sounded weary. "Let's just get back to work." 

"We'll talk tonight." 

"Sure. Now go pick up McGuire." 

As he left and closed the door, he motioned to Blair. "Come on, Chief. We've got a suspect to pick up." 

"McGuire?" 

"Yeah. You up to it?" 

Blair took off his glasses and put them in his pocket as he stood and put away the file. "Sure." He fell in to step next to Jim. "You think he's the murderer?" 

"Probably." 

"Should we take back up?" 

Glancing over, Jim noted the anxious lines twisting his friend's features. "Don't worry, Chief. We're just bringing him in for questioning. He'd expect that, so unless he panics, there shouldn't be a problem. If there is, we'll handle it." 

"I know, man, but..." 

"But what?" 

Blair stood by the elevator as they waited, his voice slightly shaky. "I know this is going to sound crazy, but I've got this bad feeling." 

"Bad feeling?" 

"Yeah, like something bad's going to happen." 

The elevator dinged open and they got inside. Jim waited until the doors closed before he spoke quietly. "That's not crazy. After what happened, you're probably just stressed out a little, that's all." 

"It's more than that. I can't explain it." 

"You don't have to go." 

"No, I need to go. It's just I think we need to be careful." 

"I'm always careful." 

Blair pushed his hair back and frowned. "I'm serious, man." 

"I am, too. Just settle down. When we get to the truck, I'll call Brown and Rafe and they can be on stand by. Okay?" 

"Yeah, okay." 

Reaching the bottom, Blair added, "Thanks, Jim." 

"No problem." Getting out of the elevator and heading for the truck, Jim found his keys. "Don't worry. We'll be fine." 

"Sure. I'm just being a head case." 

"So what else is new? Now get in and let's go get this guy so we can close this case and impress the big wigs." 

"You mean Simon." 

"Yeah, him, too." 

* * *

"You okay, Chief?" 

"Yeah, I'll be fine." 

Jim glanced over and noted the pale skin and the whiff of bile from his partner's sickness. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I didn't expect him to hang himself." 

"It's not your fault, man. Sorry for messing up the scene." 

"It's not a problem. It's an obvious suicide. We just need the ME's report to confirm it, but the case is closed except for the paper work." 

Blair shut his eyes and rested his head back, his breathing still not quite normal. "I'd never seen anything like that before." 

"It's not pretty." 

"Man, you're telling me. Shit." 

"So, I guess your bad feeling came true." 

"Yeah, maybe." Blair sat back up and sighed. "You know, I don't get people, man. It's like here's this guy with a great job, a family, the fucking American dream. How's he end up like this, killing his wife and then himself? What's going to happen to the kids, Jim?" 

"I don't have the answer to that. Luckily, the kids were with the mother's parents. The courts will have to sort that out. As for how McGuire and his wife ended up dead, who knows? What's the American dream anyway?" 

"Beats the hell out of me." 

Blair covered his mouth with his upraised hand and stared out the window. After a few minutes, Jim asked, "You sure you don't want me to take you home? I can do the paperwork on this myself." 

"It's okay." He paused, his attention focused out the window. "Jim?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I think Drew's jealous." 

"Jealous? Of us?" 

"Yeah. I still don't think he gets what I'm doing here." 

Gripping the wheel, Jim avoided looking over, didn't want to see the sad face that went with the disappointed voice. "Did he say that?" 

"Not exactly, but I'm getting that vibe, man. It's weird, too." 

"What? That he's jealous?" 

"Yeah. I never expected that from Drew of all people. He's usually so together about things, so open. Now all of a sudden he wants to change the rules." 

"How so?" 

"I think he wants me to quit working with you." 

This time, Jim looked over, concerned. "You think? Has he said that?" 

"No, but it's coming." 

"And what are you going to say if it does?" 

Blair snorted and met his eyes. "You have to ask?" 

Swallowing hard and turning his stare back to the road, Jim nodded. "Yeah, I do, Chief. So, sue me. This Marshall guy's important to you. Even I can see that." 

He stopped the truck at the red light and waited for a response, only to hear silence. When he looked over again, Blair remained quiet, his eyes misted. His words finally came out slow and choked. "I can't help it, Jim. He's not as important as you. I know he should be, but he's not. I'm sorry." 

"For what?" 

This time Blair refused to meet his eyes. "For being jealous of you and Simon. It's not fair, man, I know, but I can't help it." 

The traffic moved and Jim drove on, his mind stunned, his heart racing. He pulled over to the side of the road and turned in his seat. "What are you saying here, Blair?" 

"I think you know, man." 

"I need to hear it." 

"I love you." 

"I know that, but are you in love with me?" 

"Yeah, I think so." 

"Shit, Chief, why didn't you say something before?" 

"I didn't really know before." 

"But you do now?" 

"Yeah." 

Jim closed his eyes, sighing and scrubbing his mouth a few times before he finally spoke in a hush. "I love you, too, Blair, but I also love Simon. I don't want to lose him and I can't lose you, either." 

"I know." 

Frustrated, Jim shook his head. "I don't know what to do here." 

"There's nothing to do, Jim. I just thought I should be honest." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." He crossed his arms, his face grim. "And having said that, I guess I should take it one step further and go talk to Drew." 

"Shit, Chief. I'm sorry." 

"It's not your fault, man. It'll work out." 

"Will it?" 

"Or not." 

* * *

Walking up the path to the greenhouse, Blair saw the silhouette of his lover in the window. Stepping in, he watched quietly as Drew finished patting down a newly potted geranium. He leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, his heart heavy. When his friend glanced up, Blair smiled. "Hey." 

"Hey yourself." Drew pulled off his gloves and wiped his brow. "Had dinner yet?" 

"No, but I'm not hungry." 

"Okay." 

As he turned to wash his hands, Drew remained silent. After a bit, Blair spoke, keeping his words even. "You were right about needing to talk." 

"Let's go inside first. I've got a bottle of wine I want to drink. Maybe two." His face somber, Drew brushed past him, his body tense. 

Following behind, Blair didn't speak until they were inside and Drew poured out the drinks. Lifting the glass, the older man smiled, "Here's to love and friendship." 

Clinking the glasses together, Blair sipped and then sighed. "I do love you." 

"I know." 

"I just can't give up Jim." 

"I know that, too. Now. It's okay." He motioned for Blair to follow as he headed to the living room, wine bottle still in hand. As they settled on the sofa, Drew tucked his legs under him and continued drinking. "So, have you told Jim?" 

"Told him what?" 

"How you really feel." 

"I never wanted to hurt you." 

"I understand that, Blair. I do. I can't say I'm not disappointed, because I am, but it's not the first time. I hope we can still be friends without being too awkward." 

"Of course." 

"Good, because you're still one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. And I have to admit, I enjoyed sleeping with you." 

Blair blushed as he took another drink, the images of Drew's cock, his musky scent, his hot mouth roaming his body making him hot. "I enjoyed it, too, man. You were great." 

"So were you." 

"Thanks." 

"Now, answer the question. Have you told Jim?" 

"Yeah, today." 

"And his reaction?" 

"He's confused. He loves Simon, too." 

"Simon? Simon Banks, his captain?" 

Blair nodded, unprepared for Drew's small laugh. "What?" 

"I should've guessed it when I saw them together. Must be falling down on my job of figuring out the covert couples." Drew suddenly frowned. "But can't they get in trouble if someone finds out? I mean, two cops, one's the other's captain? Shit, Blair, that could be a real disaster." 

"Simon's a great guy." 

"He seemed fine, sure, but could they have picked a more dangerous thing to do?" 

"Sure, they could both decide to include me." 

Drew stilled momentarily before he shook his head. "God, Blair, you're in so deep, I don't even want to think about it." 

"Why? Because I want Jim or because I'm willing to be part of a threesome if they ask?" 

"Do you love this other man?" 

"Not like Jim, but he's a good man. I trust him. Sometimes that's better than love." 

"Is it?" 

"Sometimes." Blair pushed back his wayward curls and took a long drink before setting the glass on the table. "Besides, it doesn't matter. Jim might go for it, but I can't see Simon sharing." 

"Why's that?" 

"Because he's got Jim already. Why would he bother with me?" 

Drew snorted lightly and shook his head as he poured another drink. "Blair, I love you, but you're a mess. I hope this thing works out the way you want, but you need to decide what that is." 

"That's harder than it sounds." 

After a few moments, Blair stood up, tired and drained from the day. "Guess I should go. I still want to see you, man." 

"Sure. You've got the address and the number. Use it whenever you feel like it. I'll always be your friend, Blair." 

"Thanks." Cupping Drew's cheek, Blair leaned over for a brief kiss, the wine dry on his lips. Pulling back, he whispered, "Good bye, man." 

As he left, Blair heard a husky, "Good luck, my love," before he closed the door on another in the long line of disasters which were his love life. Walking to his car, he prayed that the next chapter had a happy ending or at least one that didn't make his gut twist into a long rope of knotted regrets. 

The End 


End file.
